What's in your file?

My mom recently gave me the big file she kept on me throughout my life...report cards, standardized test scores, finger prints, my birth announcement, etc. It's as if the comments from my teachers were written yesterday, not 20 years ago.

My kindergarten teacher told my parents I needed to work on neatness in writing and coloring and should focus on "being a better listener." This would serve as a theme throughout my report cards, as if all my teachers had gotten together and told each other that I talk too much. This teacher also wrote that I had "trouble with small and large motor coordination." Yes, indeed, I was a klutz even then.

My first-grade teacher wrote that I needed to work on "neatness and excessive talking." In P.E., she wrote that I had "a difficult time picking up new concepts or skills." I'm guessing my personal trainer could attest to that if you called him right now.

My second-grade teacher wrote that I needed to "continue to work nightly on her math facts, as this is slightly a weak area for her." If she had only known what a weak area it would be! Math is the bane of my existence. For each one of my standardized tests, I blew the roof off the verbal, vocabulary, spelling and reading sections. The math sections had me down in the 60th percentile or lower. It's the reason why the 28 I got on the ACT was mind-blowingly awesome considering I bombed the math portion.

Fast forward to eighth grade when I scrawled "yuck" on my report card because I got a B and a B+ mixed in with my As. I was a perfectionist even then, aiming for all As on every report card. Freaking myself out when I didn't quite meet my own, irrationally high expectations.

Inspiration

Hello, friends.

Thought I had forgotten you, eh? Well, I had. But then some inspiration hit, and I couldn't get you out of my mind.

Firstly, my friend Noodles has started a new blog about training for a 5k after, um, not training for, like, her whole life. She and her coworker, Shawn, lost their minds and decided to do a couch-to-5K by Nov. 1. I give them both crazy mad props, not only because that's quite a feat, but also because the blog is hilarious.

Secondly, I saw "Julie and Julia." Yeah, it was too long and the parts with Amy Adams weren't nearly as good as the parts with Meryl Streep. But what I came away with was how much blogging _ and in turn, the cooking challenge she set for herself _ helped her dig out of a deep, dark sadness hole. I've been down a few of those holes in my life and can appreciate the strategery.

Lastly, I miss writing for me. Meeeeeeeeeeee. I spend all day at work writing for other people the way other people want me to write, and I started this blog so I could flee that misery. This is supposed to be my saving grace, and instead, I made it a chore. Well, fuck that. I'm done with that.

Now, I order you to listen to Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros. It will make your Friday worthwhile.

Welcome to SNAFUville

We are 49 days from the wedding, and things are starting to get really interesting. And by interesting, I mean WHAT THE FUCK, PEOPLE, ARE YOU TRYING TO SEND ME TO AN EARLY GRAVE?!!??!!?!

Ahem.

The lovely dress I ordered in March has yet to arrive here in Atlanta. The latest information from the dress shop is that it is en route from "the Orient" to the distributor. Once it gets there, they will mail it to the shop, where I will retrieve it and beg a seamstress to alter it for me. Now, the seamstresses I talked to say they need six to eight weeks to do the alterations, particularly because I've lost a bunch of weight since I ordered the dress. But we are already seven weeks from the wedding and the dress probably won't be in my possession for at least another week and a half. Great.

And speaking of getting married, don't try to do it in Tennessee without a properly ordained minister or justice of the peace. The Volunteer State is one of just four states that don't recognize online ordination, which is how my wonderful friend Mooch got her certification to do my ceremony. Turns out we have to get married at the courthouse to make it legit. Add that to my ever growing to-do list. Awesome.

That to-do list includes such small items as choosing the menu, making the music playlist for the reception iPod and decorating the grounds of the place we're having the reception and ceremony. No big deal.