Newspapers by computer?!?!!? That's just silly.

Oscar picks

I'm a little late in making these, but here you go. I was horribly wrong last year, so I wouldn't use this as your guide for placing bets.

Actor in a Leading Role: Mickey Rourke
Actor in a Supporting Role: Heath Ledger
Actress in a Leading Role: Melissa Leo
Actress in a Supporting Role: Taraji P. Henson
Animated Feature Film: WALL-E
Art Direction: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Cinematography: Slumdog Millionaire
Costume Design: The Duchess
Directing: Slumdog Millionaire
Documentary Feature: Trouble the Water
Documentary Short: The Final Inch
Film Editing: The Dark Knight
Foreign Language Film: Waltz with Bashir
Makeup: The Dark Knight
Score: Slumdog Millionaire
Song: "Jai Ho"
Best Picture: Slumdog Millionaire
Short Film (Animated): Oktapodi
Short Film (Live Action): New Boy
Sound Editing: Iron Man
Sound Mixing: The Dark Knight
Visual Effects: The Dark Knight
Adapted Screenplay: Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Original Screenplay: Frozen River

Timeline of painting a bathroom

All times approximate.

9:13 a.m. I wake up, ready to paint, but Hot Pants is still sawing logs. I go downstairs and eat breakfast, visions of Olive Smudge and Smoky Olive dancing in my head.

10:02 a.m. I can't stand the anticipation anymore. I go upstairs and insist HP get up. He announces we need paint stirrers. But I want to start painting right now, dammit. After a little pouting on my part, he goes for the stirrers while I tape the bathroom.

10:33 a.m. He returns with the stirrers. The magic is about to begin! HP leaves again to get a few slices and read at the pizza joint by our house, his usual Saturday routine. I'm glad to not have him there watching my every move. Plus, I want to impress him with my painting prowess.

11:02 a.m. I have immediate painters remorse over the colors we've chosen. They're kind of dark. And dramatic. And a little, um, green. I press on, hoping it gets better.



11:43 a.m. Shit. I knocked over the lamp and broke it into pieces on the tile floor of the bathroom. I decide to put off calling HP about it until later. Besides, I think it's a little weird that he likes to have a lamp in the bathroom. I'm not alone here, right?


12:43 p.m. I decide J-Roddy Walston and the Business is the absolute best music to paint by. I call HP to see if he can bring another paint roller home.

1:01 p.m. I space out while listening to "And She Was" by the Talking Heads. Paint fumes are making me a little loopy.

1:13 p.m. HP returns home. I make a snack while he goes upstairs to check the paint job. He comes back down with a sad look on his face. I immediately think he hates the color or I did a bad job or the cats have sneaked upstairs and tracked Olive Smudge all over the carpet. Instead, he is sad about the lamp. Shit. I forgot to tell him.

2:03 p.m. We go to Lowe's to find a stencil for the bathroom. And possibly a new lamp. He's in full-out remorse. Apparently, this lamp was a BIG DEAL.

2:13 p.m. Having no luck at Lowe's, we drive to Home Depot. No luck there either. WTF? These places sell fucking paint, but not stencils.

2:32 p.m. We drive back to the shopping center with the Lowe's to try Target. We get in a fight. About the broken lamp. Seriously. No luck at Target or Bed, Bath and Beyond.

3:04 p.m. We return home, and I finish up the painting. Two walls are Smoky Olive while the other is Olive Smudge. They are so close in shade that I keep getting them mixed up and crossing brushes. Fucking shit. I hate painting. Who's idea was this anyway?

3:49 p.m. I hate green. I hate paint. I hate brushes. I hate this goddamn bathroom. I'm tempted to leave it as it is. Let Mr. Lamp Lover finish it.

4:34 p.m. The bathroom is finally finished. The paint tape did not rip the paint off the ceiling. The paint looks kind of nice. Awesome, actually. Especially with all of the art we have to go in there. And I managed not to break anything else. Plus, HP likes it. And I've agreed to buy him a lamp.

The walrus was Paul

This guy attempts the impossible: to rank the Beatles' songs in order of awesomeness. I'm not sure I agree with him on some of his choices, but I applaud the exhaustive effort.

Shake it!

I'm constantly amused by the clever music choices NPR makes.
On "Morning Edition" today, they played bits of OutKast's "Hey, Ya!" during a piece on Polaroid film being manufactured by a company in the Netherlands, paying homage to Andre 3000 and Big Boi's call to "shake it like a Polaroid picture."
And during "Marketplace" in the afternoons, they play Duke Ellington's "It Don't Mean a Thing (If It Ain't Got that Swing)" when talking about the Dow's violent gyrations as of late.
Yesterday during "Morning Edition," they played "Smoke Gets in Your Eyes" after a piece about how hard it is to quit smoking.

Just another reason I love me some NPR.

The Real World

My cell phone rang as Hot Pants and I browsed the ridiculously good sales at Atlanta's hoity-toity Lenox Mall. The caller ID said it was WeeklyRob.

"Hello, Rob (Last Name)!" I said.

"How's the mall?" he asked.

"It's fine. Keeping up with my Facebook status, are you? Or are you tracking me on that new iPhone application?" I replied, referring to the Where application we both just added to our phones.

"Neither. I saw you walk by. I'm in the mall."

Power of sight, 1.

Modern technology, 0.

Si se puede

Ch-ch-changes

In case you usually view this blog on Google Reader, take the extra 30 seconds to click over to my page and check out the facelift. I decide to spice things up a bit.

Whatcha think?

Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble

On New Year's Day, our friends, Amy and Thad, invited us to a bubble wrap party in their neighborhood. We gathered up all the bubble wrap we could find, lined the street with it and then jumped on it until we could leap no longer. It was quite an exhilarating way to start 2009, a lovely catharsis to help ring in the New Year. In the left side of the frame, you will find Noodles, author of Patches & Paws.

Newsfeed

A few random things going on right now:

1. I'm back on the eat-healthy-and-work-out wagon after several months of indulging in whatever cookie, cupcake or milkshake crossed my path. After two weeks, I'm down three pounds. Not too shabby. I've gotten into doing Exercise TV workouts on my Comcast On Demand. They're kind of awesome, actually, especially The Biggest Loser ones. I don't mind working out if there's some poor, chubby schlub on the television sweating along with me as I struggle through lunges. Nothing worse than watching a aerobics robot (aerobot?) smiling and doing exercises with ease while I huff and puff.

2. Scrubs is back, but on ABC, which fooled my DVR there for a little while. The good news is that the network switch didn't change how funny the show is. The Janitor is more hilarious than I can ever remember him being. I'm still curious as to where the story arc will go now that Elliott isn't getting married and J.D. has facial hair. I'm concerned the show is getting close to getting on a motorcycle and hurling itself over a tank filled with teethy fish.


3. Time for a cat picture.




4. Thank God it's time for "American Idol" again. And the tryouts are the best part! Woot indeed. Hopefully the winner won't be some System of a Down knock off this time.

5. Have you been shopping lately? The sales are wicked awesome. Like, for real. Ann Taylor cardigans for $14.98, Gap dresses for $24.99, JCrew turtle necks for $19.99...I can hardly contain myself.

6. I am a bridesmaid in an April wedding in lovely Athens, Ga., home of R.E.M., Widespread Panic, the B-52s and some college football team people around here keep talking about. The dress is adorable. And the bride is even more adorable. She's even put together a bridesmaids newsletter for us, which was awesome and hilarious.

A little dose of WTF?

A few things came up today that kind of blow my mind.

First of all, John Smoltz. What the hell are you thinking, John? $3 million isn't enough for you to stick around with the team that stuck with you through thick and thin, through good seasons and bad? You're the reason I fell in love with the Braves when I was 10. John, I need to know why you're abandoning me. Why you are you leaving sunny/foggy Atlanta for Boston, where it's cold and snowy and probably very dangerous with all of the people throwing tea into the harbor and whatnot? WHY?!?! (whimper)

Secondly, Chuck Leavell just sauntered (because saunter is exactly what you do when you're a Rolling Stone and Allman Brother) into my office a few minutes ago. CHUCK FUCKING LEAVELL. Eek! That was pretty cool. I took a picture of him over my shoulder, and I'm pretty sure he knows I did that. But he's Chuck Leavell. He's used to the ladies taking his picture. Bask in the glory:

Organize your jewelry, organize your life

Nikki reminded me that I needed to attend to the tangled mass of jewelry sitting on my bathroom shelf. With the help of Real Simple, I long ago conquered my necklaces with this mountable (tee hee) tie rack from Target, but what about all those earrings and bangle bracelets? I have a weensy bit of a jewelry-buying problem.

Luckily, I ran across Urban Outfitters' section of jewelry organizers, many of which are on sale right now you better hurry before they sell out oh my god hurry! I bought the following to make my bracelets a little less pile-rific. We'll see how it works. Now to conquer the earrings...

A new year

Happy 2009!

I'm kind of excited about this year, for many reasons. Firstly, it means 2008 is over, which was a whopper of a 12 months. Good and bad stuff mixed in there, but I can't say I'm sad to see it go. Secondly, it means that another 12 months lay ahead of me like newly fallen snow. I'm excited to see what kind of footprints and snow angels are left when I get to the end of '09.

Now, because I tend to wander a bit without a plan, I thought I'd make some aspirations for this year. I don't believe in resolutions, and the word goal is just so...scary. So, here are the things I aspire to in 2009:

* Get back to being healthy. I was doing really well there for a while, working out and eating lots of nutritious food. That all went down the tubes the last three months of the year, which is obvious every time I put on pants. Hopefully, you'll see less of me in 2009.

* Be more adventurous. I tend to play it fairly safe when it comes to big life decisions, especially in the career department. Who knows? By the end of the year, I could be a baker or a candle stick maker. I don't think butcher is my calling, though.

* Adopt a new hobby. Maybe flamenco dancing? Or pogo stick racing? Or macrame? Or Faberge egg making? Or poetry readings? Last year, I took an art class and got crafty with mixed media collages. My friend, Noodles, used 2008 to learn quilting, which meant I got quilted Christmas stockings, a quilt and a tote bag all courtesy of her sewing prowess. I aspire to follow her lead.

* Read. I have been on a marathon over the last few months with the Harry Potter series. I'm on the last book now, so it's time to apply that kind of must-read-it-now-or-will-die longing to whatever comes next.