(Company name deleted) can JUMP UP MY ASS

In search of a new handyman, we called the local franchise of a Big National Home Repair Company with good Angie's List recs. We'd had some disappointments with our last fix-it dude and were giving the folks at BNHRC a tryout of sorts. Hot Pants and I are not exactly handy, so we need a hammer-wielding type to keep our stuff in order. Plus, we'd rather it get fixed correctly instead of continuing to patch it ourselves with what amounts to bandaids from Lowe's.

The guy -- let's call him Bob -- arrived ON TIME. A good sign. We did a happy dance in our heads. He had a short list of tasks: re-caulk the upstairs bathtub because it's leaking into the downstairs ceiling, fix two retarded door knobs and secure our basement door (as HP says, it's held together with spit and wishes). Keep in mind the company costs $75 an hour, plus supplies.

Bob didn't have the right stuff to fix the door, so he had to make a trip to our Lowe's, which is about a mile away. An hour later, she shows back up at the house. We're more than a little concerned at this point. He explains he couldn't find a strike plate at Lowe's, so he had to go to Home Depot, which is a few miles away. So, we paid $75 for him to drive around and find a strike plate when a simple phone call would have given him the same information. He did the rest of his tasks, working a total of three hours to the tune of $350. We're annoyed, but everything seemed to work just fine. Plus, he was a very nice person and didn't set off my creep-o-meter in the slightest, which is not always my experience when it comes to Men Who Fix Things Using Their Hands.

Here's where the story gets good.

Two days later, the caulk on the tub cracked and it became painfully obvious that the door knobs are complete pieces of shit that should have just been replaced rather than repaired. Maybe it would have been nice if Bob had made such a suggestion. Plus, the basement door is still not secure.

HP is boiling, stemming from his long, sordid history of bad experiences with home repair/construction people. He posts a review on Angie's List that is nice but lays out why we were unhappy with BNHRC's service. I call BNHRC to let them know we are not pleased and need the caulking redone. Douchebag Customer Service Rep vows to get back to me the next day. I don't hear from him the next day. Or the next. So, I call him and he's all "Oh, I was about to call you." Mmm hmm. He insists that we signed off on the work and that Bob tried to tell us that we needed to blah blah blah. I told him I'd have HP call him back, as I don't know what conversations he had with Bob.

Then I find out that Douchebag Customer Service Rep has put up a nasty reply to HP's post on Angie's List, calling HP "cheap" and saying he was "adamant about not spending money on his repairs." I hit the fucking ceiling.

We paid you $350, you sack of shit. Don't call my boyfriend cheap when the fucking caulk in our tub didn't go ONE FUCKING DAY without cracking. I can't help that your workers are so fucking incompetent that it takes them three hours to do incorrectly what my infant niece could have done in 45 minutes, you son of a bitch.

Pant, pant, pant.

Yes, HP has handled all follow-up calls with the company since then. Probably best, since I am still on the verge of yelling every time I think about how we were treated. BNHRC has agreed to send a different handyman (Bob II) to our house next week to redo all of the work for free. I think HP should insist that the company take down the nasty Angie's List post, but he wants to wait until we get our shit fixed before we do anything else to irritate the home-repair gods.
Meanwhile, we are searching for another home repair service that we can trust. I don't think it's too much to ask for quality, competent service and a reasonable price.

NOTE: If you want the name of this piece of shit home repair company, post your e-mail address and I'll send it to you. Otherwise, just know that they are the devil.